My Child Is Overweight and Always Hungry: What’s Really Going On
I grew up never feeling full, and for years I believed I was just greedier than other kids. Looking back, I had ADHD that nobody had named yet, and a lot of what I called hunger never came from my stomach. (My full story is in ADHD and Overeating in Kids.)
If your child is always hungry, it’s not their fault. And it’s not yours either. Usually three kinds of hunger are mixed together, and only one of them comes from the stomach.
Why is my child always hungry, even right after eating?
- Body hunger builds gradually, a few hours after a meal.
- Reward hunger is a pull toward something quick and exciting, right now.
- Feelings hunger is eating to escape boredom, stress or a hard day.
At Step Together, we call weight the “second problem.” Diets work on it, and they often backfire. The “first problem” is what’s driving the eating (more in Why Can’t My Kid Stop Eating?), and constant hunger is your best clue to it. Helping you find it is how Step Together’s specialists work through parents: we guide you, not your child.
Always hungry with ADHD: when the brain wants a reward
One parent told me their 10-year-old would ask for more cookies minutes after finishing. That wasn’t stomach hunger. It was wanting.
Research suggests dopamine drives wanting a reward more than enjoying it,[1] and a full stomach doesn’t always switch the wanting off. With ADHD or ADHD-like traits, that pull can be even harder to resist (more in food impulsivity in kids).
Research suggests dopamine drives wanting a reward more than enjoying it,[1] and a full stomach doesn’t always switch the wanting off. With ADHD or ADHD-like traits, that pull can be even harder to resist (more in food impulsivity in kids).
Why some kids are never full: the food itself
Refined carbs like white bread, crackers and sugary cereal digest quickly and don’t hold a child for long. Protein tends to work the other way: in one small study of older teen girls who usually skipped breakfast, a high-protein breakfast left them fuller, with less high-fat snacking that evening, than skipping did.[2]
You don’t need a meal plan. Start by adding a protein your child already likes to breakfast, and watch the hour before lunch.
You don’t need a meal plan. Start by adding a protein your child already likes to breakfast, and watch the hour before lunch.
How to tell if your child is really hungry
- When did they last eat? “Hungry” 20 minutes after a full meal is rarely the stomach.
- Will any food do? A hungry body will take an apple. If only chips will do, it’s more likely reward hunger.
- What just happened? A screen went off, homework started, a sibling fight. That’s more likely feelings hunger.
What to do when your child says “I’m still hungry”
1. Don’t argue about whether they’re hungry
Arguing turns food into a fight, and fights feed shame. Calmly offer a body-hunger option: “You can have more chicken or some yogurt. The chips aren’t on the menu right now.”
2. Meet the real need
Many kids can’t say “I feel anxious” or “I’m so bored.” What they can say is “I’m hungry.” The craving isn’t always for the food. It’s for the feeling the food gives them. If it’s boredom or a big feeling, skip the lecture and offer what helps: movement, a hug, a quick game (more on emotional eating).
3. Give food a rhythm
When food is always within reach, a child rarely gets properly hungry or properly full. Keep predictable meals and snacks with real gaps between them, and keep high-reward treats out of sight. A snack your child can’t see is much easier to walk past. Out of sight doesn’t mean locked up. Here’s what to do instead of locking the pantry.
When to call your child’s doctor
Call if the hunger is new or sudden, comes with unusual thirst, tiredness or unexplained weight changes, or started or got worse after a new medication or dose change. Please don’t change any medication yourself. If the hunger peaks when ADHD medication wears off, note when it hits and tell their prescriber (more in ADHD medication and evening hunger).
If your child eats large amounts in secret and seems distressed or unable to stop, that can be a sign of an eating disorder. It deserves professional support.
If your child eats large amounts in secret and seems distressed or unable to stop, that can be a sign of an eating disorder. It deserves professional support.
Your child’s hunger is telling you something
I know how exhausting this is. You’re not failing, and your child isn’t greedy, or broken, or short on willpower.
If you’d like help finding your child’s first problem, let’s take the first Step Together below.
With love,
If you’d like help finding your child’s first problem, let’s take the first Step Together below.
With love,
Sources
- Berridge KC, Robinson TE. (1998). What is the role of dopamine in reward: hedonic impact, reward learning, or incentive salience? Brain Research Reviews, 28(3), 309–369. doi.org/10.1016/s0165-0173(98)00019-8
- Leidy HJ, Ortinau LC, Douglas SM, Hoertel HA. (2013). Beneficial effects of a higher-protein breakfast on the appetitive, hormonal, and neural signals controlling energy intake regulation in overweight/obese, “breakfast-skipping,” late-adolescent girls. American Journal of Clinical Nutrition, 97(4), 677–688. doi.org/10.3945/ajcn.112.053116
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